Adventures

I have been searching for the perfect outfit to wear to Amy's 40th. I've concluded I'm trying too hard. Jamie, who is driving on this road adventure from Oregon to Utah didn't have any problem at all finding things. She found not one, but three pairs of shoes (she only has two feet!) and a great outfit. Me, I found a great new bag... which I won't be able to wear to the party, and have concluded that if I just relax about it I'll stumble onto something... might even help if I knew what I was searching for! We'll be going to Park City .. and it is FREEZING there....and the plan is to go to an OUTDOOR concert... Good thing I love coats, I've got plenty to choose from there, but THE PARTY? Uggg ... to be continued!

My next adventure was today, I had my first official meeting to design a couples kitchen! I've been working toward this for months, and am THRILLED to have my first official job! It is amazingly fun to have the freedom of taking your creative ability and style and utilize it to help someone think outside the box and discover a great new idea for their environment! The couple was great, giving me what it is that they would like to see, asking for a lot of input and concluding that I was attentive and that they felt confident that I would return with a design that we could consider. WOW! If I had this much confidence in myself, I would be amazing... perhaps in time! I've been writing notes and doing research most of the day- the anticipation of producing a great design is overwhelming me. I can't wait to lay it out!

My brother came over tonight for dinner with his family. My brother is AWESOME... if anyone knows me well, it is my brother. It is as though we are one soul in two bodies, it is amazing. When we get together we have A BLAST! We have the same sense of humor and sometimes it just takes looking at one another and we bust up... and we could be laughing for hours over NOTHING. Funniest part is, that those in the room with us will find that they are laughing too...and they have no idea why- it is infectious... I love it! It is like we warp back to when we were kids, what a great time we have! I am blessed to have such a great relationship with my siblings. I get along well with all three of them, they on the other hand, do not get along with one another... it is frustrating at times, because I don't understand why they can't just accept the flaws or opinions in one another... and don't understand why they are able to accept them in me.. Ohhhh I have flaws! Not so much opinions ...I'm one of those roll with the punches kinda gals, unless I feel passionately about something, in which case I'll stand up. So glad that my son & daughter have one another.. and hope that they always appreciate one another the way they do now....silliness and all!

Rebel without a cause...

Thursday.. the weekend awaits me YEAH! So, today was eventful, but not really.... Amy is counting the days until I arrive in Salt Lake City- BIG plans to help her commemorate her 40th birthday. Here I was thinking about what I could give her to provide sentiment, memories, a gift to last a lifetime.. NEVER thought about a TATTOO!!! Yeah, today she shares that is what we are doing... WOW! So, now I must consider WHAT & WHERE =O I am not a big fan of "tramp stamps" so that is OUT & I am not going to pick something just to pick something. I toyed with the tattoo idea last spring while in Bend with a friend....I wanted something that when I look at it 50 years from now, I still think "it was worth it"... I drew up a sketch that brought all that is important to me into one drawing.. It was a dragonfly which reminds me to spread my wings & soar! Within the dragonfly, a baseball (to represent my son) a daisy (to represent my daughter) the christian fish (obviously my faith) and a circle (never ending possibilities) It actually isn't nearly as busy as it sounds...I was thinking on the top of my foot... I'm not doing it for anyone else to see- just a ME thing. But it would be someplace that IF I wanted to show someone, I wouldn't need to undress ... they'll be thankful for that! A tattoo...this is HUGE in my world...hummm my rebel without a cause comin' out in me I suppose...WATCH OUT! Kinda like this weed in the middle of nothing..what is the purpose? The journey I suppose....

So, I'm reading the book Beautiful Boy.. amazing story of a father's obsession with his son's meth addiction. When I first picked the book up, I read the jacket and quickly put it down. I could have been reading something I had written about my own son. It was hitting too close to home about a great kid- a kid people admire & adore, intelligent, caring, cute, athletic... It was my kid. I knew that in reading it, I'd be thinking of my own son through the whole book and wouldn't be able to make it through. Shortly there after, I saw David Sheff & his son on the TODAY show ~ I had a face to put with that boy in the book. Next time I was in Starbucks (the next day!) I picked up the book... it is really good and very educational as well. Educating me on drugs and how they take a person in, addiction, enabling, peer pressure and the endless love of a parent. Very good read. Tonight after I read a few chapters I sat beside my son and shared with him that if I ever find him even smoking cigarettes I would take him far off into the hills and beat him...that cigarettes are just a stepping stone to other things and I wasn't going to tolerate even that. He smiled and told me "yeah like I'd even think about it"...maybe not today... But he might entertain the idea under pressure, I want him to know I will have a zero tolerance. Tough Love? Maybe...but if it prevents him from going through what this Beautiful Boy went through... I'm going there! It is amazing how much I worry about him. I worry when he stays at friends, I worry when he is in his own bed- I worry about him at school, I worry about him on the ball field. My biggest fear in life is not being able to protect my children- knowing full well that there are things I'm not able to control, but wanting so much to control the things I can. I spend more time in prayer, asking that my children be protected...I trust that they are.

Still thinking about my friend, I have concluded that you can't make someone want you in their lives no matter how much you would like them in yours....sometimes life lessons simply aren't any fun!

Retail Therapy

I'm not sure how to define the day, consumed I suppose. Still thinking about my friend...although, he did say today was better... unsure how to define better but hopeful that it is much better than I am concluding. After hearing he was better, I got a call from my mother..my mother is not nice..and in the conversation she got in a few of her typical jabs...leaving me feeling like a good scream =O Already feeling uncertain about things going on & having dealt with her my entire life, I knew I needed to do something more constructive.....

So, after work, the mop top & I went for retail therapy! She was in need of a few new things for spring and I was looking for a great something to wear to a party next weekend...Amy turns FOUR OH... Amy, being my OLDER cousin =P. Back to the retail therapy... SO, I found nothing for me...and really did expect that I would~ BUT the mop top did score a few fun spring things...and was excited to model them as soon as we were through the front door! I captured her in her new attire ~ she wanted to take a few photos too, and captured me. She loves the camera!

The big smile in my day came when I was getting the mop top ready for bed, she was running off and turned around and came back to me. Very serious, she reached out to hug me & with such a sweet voice said to me "Thank you mom for taking me shopping at JC Penny today, I love my cute cute outfits" BIGGGG HUG.....awwww these are the moments that make me think what ever is bugging me is really not as big as I allow it to be. I'll head to bed smiling that I'm loved as much as I am by the sweetest little princess, and thankful I have a friend who is doing better. I'll hope & pray that his day is good, no... GREAT tomorrow and that my day is as well. Because it will only be as great as I allow it to be =D oh if it were only that easy.. Optimistically POSSIBLE though

A Good Day

I was going from the moment my feet hit the floor today- it was up and out the door early to meet a friend at the gym, SO glad she was there as I wasn't really in the right mindset to work out today...she pulled me through. Left the gym to arrive home to grab some coffee and get my morning and my blood pumping. The mop top joined me at work today (and SHE was work!) We stopped by Starbucks, knowing I would need it and that she'd enjoy a butter horn...a treat! The day was busy, lots of people in town for spring break, or passing through on their way to a destination for break. It was good to be busy and nice to see the people moving about the country! With the price of gas being $3.45 OUCH

After work, I had a short while before I needed to pick up a girlfriend for a movie...Blake was out side shooting hoops. There are days when I just enjoy sitting back out of sight watching him. He is a determined young man! He will shoot and shoot and shoot and shoot....and make it much of the time. He asks me to play PIG with him a lot, and every now and then I cave and play... I stink at basketball and I don't have near the patience that he does to work at it. Give me a ball and glove, a soccer ball or a football, I'm good... a basketball, might as well wrap me in duck tape and leave me for dead.. I'm worthless! So as he shot ball after ball, I watched him.. I really watched him, I watched how from time to time he would talk to himself, he'd smile big when he made a rare shot and would roll his eyes when it would bounce off the rim. He is growing up so quickly. One day I'll look out the window and that little boy will be big, he'll be dunking that ball without even trying. Breaks my heart to think about it. As it is now he is only 4 inches shorter than I am... won't be long and he'll be able to slam dunk me =O Sometimes I sit and wonder where the baby went. And then, I find myself smiling at the awesome young man that is before me... I love being his mom!

After taking in the hoop fest, I scrambled myself together to pick up my girlfriend so we could meet up with other girlfriends for a movie... 27 Dresses. Very cute "chick flick"... very funny, and a great message. Sometimes what you think you are looking for, isn't what you are looking for at all. We think we know ourselves soo well, but truth is we get our mind so set on certain things that when what we really want comes along, we over look it. I wonder in my life where it is that I do this, and will I realize it... Do I maybe realize it but just not admit it? Hum... food for thought... which declares that a good movie in my book... Made me smile, laugh and walk away thinking.

Easter

Happy Easter!

What a blessed day.. HE HAS RISEN! He Has Risen Indeed!!

The Mop Top was up early and ready to search for a basket filled with jelly beans and chocolate..she woke her brother with hugs and kisses, followed by yelling at him GET UP! Firmly but with love =)

The hunt was on... and baskets were found. We had a morning of coffee (for me!) and chocolate for the kids- which was declared breakfast.. everyone dressed in their Easter best and I was able to capture a few phone shots of them before they were off and running.

The message today was very good, a spin on the common Easter message, which was nice as it kept every one's attention, however the message clear. Jesus died so that we may have life and have it more abundantly.

After church we had a nice brunch- there was a chocolate fountain with marshmallows, strawberries and rice crispy treats... I was comfortable until I went dipping in the chocolate...which pushed me right over the edge! It hit the kids hard too, the mop top didn't get in the door and turned around before she was a heap napping on the floor... and her brother, sat back and watched a little TV... A lazy day at home with naps, basketball games and me, baking banana bread. A nice and relaxing day, these aren't common in our house- so has been as much of a treat as the chocolate bunnies! Chocolate, never thought I'd say this, but.. No thank you =O Ask me again tomorrow... I'm sure I'll be recovered =D

It was BEAUTIFUL here today~ Jeni (my hiking buddy) and I took advantage of the weather and the view, hiking a trail along the creeks edge. It was peaceful, beautiful and very inviting....we walked the creek trail to where McKay Creek meets the Umatilla River. Along the way we were greeted by a number of Pheasants (this is why I have the leash.. being a bird dog, I needed to keep her close) a number of Deer and a heard of cows. I tried to capture the view along the way to share. NOTE: I am not one who wants for what others have.. But the swinging bench along side the creek.. I REALLY WANT IT!!!

This evening the kids colored Easter Eggs...which I am still having a hard time grasping, Easter being tomorrow. Although reality was clear when I went to WalMart in search of a big eared chocolate bunny for a friend... I was WAY TOO LATE... There were parents with seriously worried looks about them. There were plenty of jelly beans & colored chocolate bunnies, but if TRUE chocolate is what they were in search of...the search continued! The kids had fun coloring, and of course being a kid at heart, I colored too! Looking forward to morning, when the kids will wake early with excitement to search out their baskets. Tradition has been that the EB hides the baskets the night before and when you wake in the morning you search for them. The baskets are filled with chocolate, bunnies

and jelly beans (all my favorites...since I'll be the one nibbling too) and a small gift. We'll go to church and then on to brunch. Later in the day we'll have an egg hunt for the mop top. The guys will nap or watch basketball. The mop top will nap too! Me, I'll go for my Easter walk with the dog, because I will have well over indulged and guilt will consume me =O And when I return feeling better, I'll nibble on an ear or pop a few jelly beans... because Easter tastes soo yummy!

I will admit there isn't a Peep in the house.. I think I ate three packages all by my self this Easter season, UGGG...the therapy of biting someones head off and then the joy of the sugar high..It caught up with me, I am cured...for another year anyway! Looking forward to the service at church tomorrow, the reminder that HE HAS RISEN! I try and share with the mop top why we celebrate Easter, I've come to conclude there is a reason why I am not a Minister...I know why I'm not a nun =O.....For all of the sharing during Holy week and talking about the Resurrection, it is nearly impossible for me to convey the message clearly to a three year old. Although, I think she gets the idea, most importantly I suppose is that I'm trying. And I do...for all of my own short comings the one thing I strive to do better than anything, is to share with my children that Jesus loves them, He died for them and HE HAS RISEN FOR THEM... HE HAS RISEN!!!

Good Friday

Good Friday, and it has been a good day. I took the dog for a hike on the hillside today, INCREDIBLE the vibrant green colors that span for as far as my eyes can see. I didn't take my camera (dang it!) but did take in the view. We returned home along the bend in the creek near our house. There is a pond there, and the sun was shining just so that the trees were reflected in the water...it was incredible. What a wonderful way to begin Good Friday-in amazement of how beautiful the world can be, how peaceful and inviting. Had I thrown responsible out the door, we would have sat there a bit and just watched the ducks, the water, the view. But duty called, and I had to return to my reality. Tomorrow morning, we'll journey over together again, with my camera and hopefully I'll have some incredible shots to share!

Today's photos are simple.. a photo of an easter greeting on the sidewalk, something to send along to a friend... to let them know I'm thinking of them.

And a photo of Dale, this is our friend who stops in to visit EVERY DAY at 12:50pm, bringing with him a bag of Dark Chocolate M&Ms, a quarter and one hard candy- in a zip lock bag for the Mop Top! He started bringing M&Ms when she was about 18months, and only recently added the quarter when she shared that she is saving quarters for college.... Dale is a fun 83 years old. He was my daughters very first friend~ the relationship they have is incredible. When I say he lives for this little girl, it isn't a saying, I mean it. If he doesn't get to visit with her, there is a lag in his step. He is slow to go most days, but you put that little girl in the window smiling and waiting for him to come along and he is zipping down the street. He never had children, married five times and no children. He divorced five times. He hasn't any family locally, so we've adopted him, or he adopted us! Either way, he is a wonderful addition... and I'm happy to introduce him to you here... He'll be in more photos and stories to come, I'm certain!

chalk drawing

I had a wonderful surprise upon my arrival home from the gym today... A chalk drawing on the front steps. If there was any question what kind of day was ahead of me, it became clear when I looked down to see a smiling face looking up at me...

My mop top, found the bowl of sidewalk chalk in the cupboard and decided to find a dry spot to color. The patio wet from a night of rain and the front walk equally as soggy, she noticed a bare & dry spot near the front landing. When I approached the front door she sprung the door open to make sure I saw her work. I shared with her I did see it and I thought it was very cute. She told me "It is a picture of you, because you like to smile"....awwwww My entire day was set up for nothing but good things with that comment. Amazing what a simple gesture can do, an unexpected something that you do for no other reason perhaps than it made you smile doing it. I love such gestures......and enjoy doing such things equally as much when someone does something for me.

Thinking on this reminds me of a day when her brother was in the first grade, I was stressed out beyond belief. I don't recall why, but recall the moment. I had snapped at him for interrupting me while I worked on something. He sat on the floor with paper and scissors, being almost too quiet. I was working at my desk, he whispered "Mom" I spun around to find on the floor the words I LOVE MOM cut out...it was one of those moments that confirmed that what ever I was doing wasn't nearly as important as my son. I have moments today when I get stressed out & short~ I almost always am brought back to reality with thoughts of that day. The quote, "the most important things in life aren't things" SOO TRUE!

Home Today....

The Mop Top wasn't feeling too hot, and I wasn't feeling too great either...so we hung out at home. It was drizzling rain and gloomy outside, which provided the perfect opportunity to curled up & watched a little Disney Channel- when her eyes got heavy, I quickly turned to HGTV =) I don't sit still well, so I opted to be productive around the house while she slept...laundry, cleaned out a storage closet and sorted through old magazines. Not real exciting. We did however see some excitement when she woke up with a stuffy nose..Now, it may seem silly to you, because you know how to blow your nose, but when you are three- can't breath and your mother is trying every animated way to get you to blow...it does get a little exciting. FINALLY after about 15 minutes and a number of silly faces (mine, not hers) SHE BLEW!! Yippee You are thinking now aren't you? How is it that a person doesn't understand how to blow? Let me tell you, it takes a small child to bring this reality into perspective for you!

I picked up my camera while she slept & captured a few pictures to document this milestone for BLOWING...and noticed the one curl that is ever present on her head.... something angelic about it. I also snapped a few pictures for fun, elements that I wouldn't typically photograph, but made for a fun experiment.

Chalk..would have been fun, had it not been pouring out...

Beans....a great idea on a gloomy day...something warm and filling....


Jelly Beans...now we're talking! Something I obviously need to get more of...with Easter coming....

Holy Week

Being holy week, I find I am more aware of the religious symbols around me. As I was on my way to the library this evening, I saw a few beautiful steeples and thought I'd stop and capture them...or was I captured by them?

As stood with my camera in hand, snapping photos, the sun was setting, people were driving past. I wondered if anyone else took notice what a beautiful sight it was, the sun set just straight across the roof line...amazing! It lined up as though it was planned that way- planning had nothing to do with it on my part, it was simply a happy accident SERINDIPITY!

After taking the above photo; I went to the church I grew up in, which I drive past daily. It is a beautiful piece of history, and architecture and beauty all in one. Typically there are pigions perched upon the steeple- which I see as I drive behind the church in the morning. Tonight however the view from the front of the church was amazing as the moon was rising to the sky. Perhaps a message? HE HAS RISEN!

And when I returned home I found a sleeping beauty....my little mop top, quiet and still. This is not a common sight in our house, so I quickly pulled the camera in close to document my precious girl at rest. And as I look at her it occurs to me that my "big girl" is still my baby...precious and sweet.

And this very precious girl has a very handsome brother, who just turned thirteen...I am still having a difficult time dealing with this reality~ I am the mother of a teenage boy...SIGH. He is wonderful, handsome, silly, smart, athletic, sweet, encouraging, responsible, caring, polite, determined, enthusiastic and incredibly aware of the people around him....This wonderful boy is going to make a wonderful man. In the meantime, I'm still mom and he's still a boy and I continue to should "PICK THAT TOWEL UP OFF THE FLOOR! THE LAUNDRY BASKET IS NOT YOUR BEDROOM! PLEASE PUT THE SEAT DOWN!!" One day, this man will understand all the shouting and one day, he'll be shouting at his own children.. Awww sweet revenge =))

The Guy Next Door

Every day I drive down the same lane to get home, and every day I realize once I'm in the door, I don't recall much of the drive, if any on the way home. Seems sometime I get so busy trying to balance it all, in the car, answering a phone call, dropping books back at the library, passing back a snack to my daughter, trying to keep from spilling on myself as I suck up the caffine that keeps me going, did I grab the packages I'll need to drop at the post office in the morning, singing a little Hanna Montana or the ABC song... major multi tasking taking place in the vehicle! NOTE: This truck is not my vehicle- this is a truck that captures my eye when I drive by. I don't know what it is about it, but pack pic nic with a blanket, bottle of wine, cheese, apples and chocolate ~ find a spot in a medow and I'm certain there is a romantic story to be told. (hopeless romantic? ya think!) Might wanna grab a cell phone too... I don't know how far this baby would make it...although with the right person, it really wouldn't matter if you were stuck somewhere.....

Today, It was a bit different... I was going to have the snow tires removed and no one opted to go with me. I had a "free hour" and thought I'd take advantage and change over the tires, wash the car and savor the opportunity to see where it is I've been, where I am going. Upon my drive home, down the very muddy road in my freshly washed car I drove very slowly...taking in the view around me. Ironically I drive past some of these things daily, past them, never really seeing them. Silly I suppose that I found them entertaining enough to pull out my camera and take photos... I walked down the lane where I enjoyed watching the guy next door eat hay. In the moment it was like therapy before entering The House Of Chaos that I call home. Days like today remind me how much I must miss out on, be it things along the way, people who cross my path, or moments shared that I take for granted... I have decided that I'll pack my camera more often. If only as a reminder to myself to not just see what I am surrounded by, but be aware of it....capture it, be it in my lens or in my heart.... or be captured by it...

My Ballerina

Charlie Mae had her first ballet recital on Friday Night. My ever so energetic & always entertaining little mop top had a sudden case of STAGE FRIGHT!



I almost fell outta my seat, she would practice, practice, practice and a phrase which became like breathing was "are you watching me? are you watching me?" Of course we were! How could we not, as she consumed the room she was in....and after leaving the stage, she was back to herself. I no longer have a fear of her leaving me for the New York Ballet, as I don't know if she would go with out her mommy =) She did provide a darling performance, not missing a beat AFTER the recital was over for friends. Oh to be three. I was so proud of her, stage fright and all....my ballerina, my mop top girl. And I was very proud of her brother as well, who sat through the evening without complaint. He was the first to hug his sister and tell her, how beautiful she looked, and how very well she did. He told her throughout the evening that he thought she did very well and that she looked so beautiful. I was not only proud of my ballerina girl, but of my ballerina's brother.