ay. Here I was thinking about what I could give her to provide sentiment, memories, a gift to last a lifetime.. NEVER thought about a TATTOO!!! Yeah, today she shares that is what we are doing... WOW! So, now I must consider WHAT & WHERE =O I am not a big fan of "tramp stamps" so that is OUT & I am not going to pick something just to pick something. I toyed with the tattoo idea last spring while in Bend with a friend....I wanted something that when I look at it 50 years from now, I still think "it was worth it"... I drew up a sketch that brought all that is important to me into one drawing.. It was a dragonfly which reminds me to spread my wings & soar! Within the dragonfly, a baseball (to represent my son) a daisy (to represent my daughter) the christian fish (obviously my faith) and a circle (never ending possibilities) It actually isn't nearly as busy as it sounds...I was thinking on the top of my foot... I'm not doing it for anyone else to see- just a ME thing. But it would be someplace that IF I wanted to show someone, I wouldn't need to undress ... they'll be thankful for that! A tattoo...this is HUGE in my world...hummm my rebel without a cause comin' out in me I suppose...WATCH OUT! Kinda like this weed in the middle of nothing..what is the purpose? The journey I suppose.... 
So, I'm reading the book Beautiful Boy.. amazing story of a father's obsession with his son's meth addiction. When I first picked the book up, I read the jacket and quickly put it down. I could have been reading something I had written about my own son. It was hitting too close to home about a great kid- a kid people admire & adore, intelligent, caring, cute, athletic... It was my kid. I knew that in reading it, I'd be thinking of my own son through the whole book and wouldn't be able to make it through. Shortly there after, I saw David Sheff & his son on the TODAY show ~ I had a face to put with that boy in the book. Next time I was in Starbucks (the next day!) I picked up the book... it is really good and very educational as well. Educating me on drugs and how they take a person in, addiction, enabling, peer pressure and the endless love of a parent. Very good read. Tonight after I read a few chapters I sat beside my son and shared with him that if I ever find him even smoking cigarettes I would take him far off into the hills and beat him...that cigarettes are just a stepping stone to other things and I wasn't going to tolerate even that. He smiled and told me "yeah like I'd even think about it"...maybe not today... But he might entertain the idea under pressure, I want him to know I will have a zero tolerance. Tough Love? Maybe...but if it prevents him from going through what this Beautiful Boy went through... I'm going there! It is amazing how much I worry about him. I worry when he stays at friends, I worry when he is in his own bed- I worry about him at school, I worry about him on the ball field. My biggest fear in life is not being able to protect my children- knowing full well that there are things I'm not able to control, but wanting so much to control the things I can. I spend more time in prayer, asking that my children be protected...I trust that they are. Still thinking about my friend, I have concluded that you can't make someone want you in their lives no matter how much you would like them in yours....sometimes life lessons simply aren't any fun!
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