Second Chances....

I don't know if I fully agree with giving people a second chance. What I do know is that if I was someone who screwed up and had the courage to face that fact, apologize and make an effort to show that I know I messed up, I would hope I'd get the second chance to make it right.

Brad and I had a pretty fabulous thing, and it came to a screeching halt.  No explanation, no nothing.  Just "I need time to think about us, it's not you".... and it hurt, deeply.  We had a relationship that was open, honest, filled with trust, we could talk about anything ~ and we did.  We shared with one another, we shared experiences, confided and believed in one another.  And it was amazing ~ something I'd never experienced before.  I loved him, completely, truly without any doubts.   And I believed he loved me too.  

Earlier, I shared about the Commitment Phobic and I also shared that it was my gut feeling that was what happened in our situation.  Things were amazing, everyone US, OUR KIDS, OUR FAMILIES, we were all on the same page, we all felt that Brad and I were a good thing.... For Brad come to find out, it was 'too good' and yes, he indeed suffered from Commitment phobia.   He didn't come to me and share this, but he did finally come to me and share and everything he shared was exactly what I'd drawn my conclusion from.   This isn't a terrible awful very bad thing.  It isn't.  BUT... it is something that makes a girl stop and wonder, WHAT IF it happens again.  

Yesterday I sent Brad a text message to tell him I was thinking of him & happy Fathers day.  (we would share text here and then as friends, so this wasn't out of the norm)   We shot a few text back and forth in which he shared that he missed me.  I was floored, he thinks about me??  

He phoned and then asked if he could come over.   Scared, excited, worried and anxious, I said yes.   He came over and we talked, in depth about everything.  He must have apologized a million times, to which I finally shared, he need not say it again.  He was sincere and his effort to actually pick up the phone and then drive over spoke volumes to me. 

We spent the day just being us, we went for ice tea, got some fruit and enjoyed it before taking a walk along the river.  Went home puttered around and then off to Hamley's to watch the PGA Open and enjoy a cold drink and a light snack.  SIDE NOTE: let me share here ~ we had nachos and he is one of few people I can actually stand to eat chips with... the noise drives me insane... with him, its never been an issue... that, that is love

The evening was shared just being together, talking, looking at one another, sharing..... clearly I love him.  I love him very very much.  I love him deeply.  And I love him enough to give him not a second chance, but one chance to prove that he believes in us, that he loves me more than his fears and that there isn't anything that will be bigger than the two of us.    

I am going to fully trust him with my heart and believe that he will guard it and protect it.