Dear Far Away Friend... THANK YOU

Today was one of "THOSE DAYS" when I was in a funk and having trouble pulling myself through it... Too many sorted details to explain but it was my far away friend who pulled me through. I don't even know if they truly grasps how much it meant to me that they simply let me babble ... I didn't share much, but enough to feel like it helped. And they didn't reply with much, but what they did say was enough, it was encouraging. How is it that sometimes it takes many words to express something simple and then there are times when it takes only simple words to express something complicated? I suppose it depends on who it is sharing and the sincerity of what it is they say....I'm only guessing.
WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS
So when I get into these funks, which are few & far between... I tend to busy myself with tasks ... Today it was completing my first kitchen design, which I must say is turning out pretty stinkin' great! Feeling good about that and knowing that this too shall pass I think at the moment I am feeling much better about things. I know that when I lie my head on my pillow in a short while, I'm going to count all my blessings (counting my friend twice!!) and I know that when I wake up tomorrow, the Lord will bless me with another day and that this day will have been one I learned from. There is a reason for everything, good & bad - although the bad isn't any fun. God is only giving us the bad to make us stronger and I believe so that we don't take the good for granted. Although I would like to say I DON'T ... there are time, I believe I do take things for granted. Today, I'm thankful for the bumpy road, although it really isn't any fun... I know it will get better. And I'm thankful for my friend, SO thankful xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Beautiful Roses....

The last time I received flowers, it was a bouquet of dandellions from my daughter, which I must admit were far more beautiful bunched up in her hands than this beautiful display above! Don't get me wrong, the flowers I am about to speak of meant so much, but there is something about someone picking you flowers and holding them out in their hand, that a florist can't touch...no matter how grand the display. My very dear friend brought Charlie Mae & I these flowers last week, for no reason at all...which is the best reason if you ask me. I was surprised and reminded once again how special the people in my life are. He is a friend who has "adopted" my children as his own grandchildren, until his own kids come around and provide for him the joy of little people. He is a wonder friend and one I greatly admire. He is married to one of my sweetest & dearest friends, and the two of them... are an incredible pair! They have a relationship that everyone hopes for and few achieve. I could go on and on about them, and will perhaps in my next entry... This entry, I want to share how blessed I often feel that I have the people in my life that I do... I am a firm believer that God brings people into your life to fill spots where others have been and moved on, or where others have left open. Perhaps even spots that you have been holding open for that special someone. I am very blessed to have the people I do in my life... SO BLESSED! And as I think about the upcoming vacation to Sun Valley with my brother & sister, I think about how blessed I am to have siblings who I love, get along with & enjoy to know end... BLESSED, I AM BLESSED IN DEED! For all of the complaining we do about our families at times, there is nothing dearer....dysfunction and all! And we are only able to deal with this dysfunction because of the special friends in our life that give us that balance of normal, what ever that is! I am blessed in great abundance....blessed indeed! PS The very wonderful friends I speak of above are Dr. Jake & Cathrine Cambier...LOVE THEM!!!

This little piggy went to the market.....
I love my daughters pudgy little toes - so cute!
She wanted to play footsie today while we worked in the yard.. we took a break for lunch and I took the opportunity to capture her dirty but cute little foot.. She asked that I take a picture of our feet together... good idea I thought. One day those little feet may be asking to borrow my shoes, Much sooner than I am ready!

SALT LAKE CITY UTAH BABY!

One might think I lost my camera...nope! Just so busy trying to get everything organized before my great adventure that it left little time for pecking at the keys or downloading photos. I feel like I may actually be getting back on track and will again have time to put my thoughts and pictures into focus... what a good feeling. So, where do I begin... hummm







THIS IS AMY!


The adventure to Utah for Amy's birthday was SUPER FUN! Jamie & I had plenty to talk about along the way and the view AMAZING! Of this view, I have few photos as we were on a mission to arrive in time for a Salmon dinner at my aunt's house. Which I will say was WONDERFUL!
Thursday night found us in downtown Salt Lake meeting with our TATTOO ARTISTS.... you read that correctly. We met with the artist who would design, or help with designs for our tattoos. My artist was Nick... The youngest tattoo artist in this region at only 20 years old.. did that scare me? Maybe a little, but after spending nearly an hour with him as we talked about what I wanted & I showed him the sketch I'd drawn (years ago!) of what I wanted... he made me feel like he sincerely wanted this to be an incredible experience and that he wanted it to be the work of art I hoped for to express myself.

THE ADVENTURE THAT WILL LAST A LIFE TIME...

WE GET OUR TATTOOS!!

Friday morning it was cinnamon rolls and coffee before we ventured back into SLC INK for our tattoos ... I woke in the morning and my first thought was "today I'm getting a tattoo" followed by butterflies and maybe a nervous giggle... WHAT WAS I THINKING?
After Nick placed the transfer onto my leg and I saw the image which I'd doodled onto paper a dozen plus times become reality, I was ready to go for it. I don't know what it was, but something about it felt like the time was right and doing this meant sharing the experience with my cousin and the design with my children forever.... I chose the Daisy to represent Charlie Mae... it is our favorite flower and when I see daisies I think of her. I chose a baseball for Blake, because that is where we aren't just mom & son, but we are one anothers biggest fans and best form of support. He knows that no matter what he does on that field that if he looks inside his baseball hat... there he will find a message written by me at the beginning of each year. A word of encouragement and strength, words to remind him too that I love him no matter what...and a dragonfly for me, The dragonfly symbolizes going past self-created illusions that limit our growing and changing. Dragonflies are a symbol of the sense of self that comes with maturity. They are reminders that we are light & can reflect the light in powerful ways if we choose to do so. "Let there be light" is the divine prompting to use the creative imagination as a force within your life. They help you to see through your illusions and allow your own light to shine in a new vision.
Friday was a fun filled day.. Friday Night found us In Park City... where we met up with some of Amy's friends, and what a fun time that was!!

Amy, Donna, Kristin, Melissa, Jamie In Park City Utah

Amy celebrated her 40th birthday with girlfriends in Park City- we rented a condo for the night and enjoyed Margaritas with the girls before heading out for Thai Food... YUMMY! We made our way to THE SPUR for a few cocktails before closing down the town and calling it a night. We had a fun time, talking, laughing and more laughing!



I LOVE MY COUSIN AMY, HAPPY FOUR OHHHHHH

I was soo happy I could be there to celebrate with Amy, one of my best friends and most favorite cousin!


We had such a great time together, it was fun to spend time with her, and funny to listen to us! We have the same silly sayings and gestures.... I think people had more fun watching the two of us than anything. And her poor boyfriend.. there seemed to be a sense of confusion for him, wondering if perhaps we were separated at birth =) We think so!

Adventures

I have been searching for the perfect outfit to wear to Amy's 40th. I've concluded I'm trying too hard. Jamie, who is driving on this road adventure from Oregon to Utah didn't have any problem at all finding things. She found not one, but three pairs of shoes (she only has two feet!) and a great outfit. Me, I found a great new bag... which I won't be able to wear to the party, and have concluded that if I just relax about it I'll stumble onto something... might even help if I knew what I was searching for! We'll be going to Park City .. and it is FREEZING there....and the plan is to go to an OUTDOOR concert... Good thing I love coats, I've got plenty to choose from there, but THE PARTY? Uggg ... to be continued!

My next adventure was today, I had my first official meeting to design a couples kitchen! I've been working toward this for months, and am THRILLED to have my first official job! It is amazingly fun to have the freedom of taking your creative ability and style and utilize it to help someone think outside the box and discover a great new idea for their environment! The couple was great, giving me what it is that they would like to see, asking for a lot of input and concluding that I was attentive and that they felt confident that I would return with a design that we could consider. WOW! If I had this much confidence in myself, I would be amazing... perhaps in time! I've been writing notes and doing research most of the day- the anticipation of producing a great design is overwhelming me. I can't wait to lay it out!

My brother came over tonight for dinner with his family. My brother is AWESOME... if anyone knows me well, it is my brother. It is as though we are one soul in two bodies, it is amazing. When we get together we have A BLAST! We have the same sense of humor and sometimes it just takes looking at one another and we bust up... and we could be laughing for hours over NOTHING. Funniest part is, that those in the room with us will find that they are laughing too...and they have no idea why- it is infectious... I love it! It is like we warp back to when we were kids, what a great time we have! I am blessed to have such a great relationship with my siblings. I get along well with all three of them, they on the other hand, do not get along with one another... it is frustrating at times, because I don't understand why they can't just accept the flaws or opinions in one another... and don't understand why they are able to accept them in me.. Ohhhh I have flaws! Not so much opinions ...I'm one of those roll with the punches kinda gals, unless I feel passionately about something, in which case I'll stand up. So glad that my son & daughter have one another.. and hope that they always appreciate one another the way they do now....silliness and all!

Rebel without a cause...

Thursday.. the weekend awaits me YEAH! So, today was eventful, but not really.... Amy is counting the days until I arrive in Salt Lake City- BIG plans to help her commemorate her 40th birthday. Here I was thinking about what I could give her to provide sentiment, memories, a gift to last a lifetime.. NEVER thought about a TATTOO!!! Yeah, today she shares that is what we are doing... WOW! So, now I must consider WHAT & WHERE =O I am not a big fan of "tramp stamps" so that is OUT & I am not going to pick something just to pick something. I toyed with the tattoo idea last spring while in Bend with a friend....I wanted something that when I look at it 50 years from now, I still think "it was worth it"... I drew up a sketch that brought all that is important to me into one drawing.. It was a dragonfly which reminds me to spread my wings & soar! Within the dragonfly, a baseball (to represent my son) a daisy (to represent my daughter) the christian fish (obviously my faith) and a circle (never ending possibilities) It actually isn't nearly as busy as it sounds...I was thinking on the top of my foot... I'm not doing it for anyone else to see- just a ME thing. But it would be someplace that IF I wanted to show someone, I wouldn't need to undress ... they'll be thankful for that! A tattoo...this is HUGE in my world...hummm my rebel without a cause comin' out in me I suppose...WATCH OUT! Kinda like this weed in the middle of nothing..what is the purpose? The journey I suppose....

So, I'm reading the book Beautiful Boy.. amazing story of a father's obsession with his son's meth addiction. When I first picked the book up, I read the jacket and quickly put it down. I could have been reading something I had written about my own son. It was hitting too close to home about a great kid- a kid people admire & adore, intelligent, caring, cute, athletic... It was my kid. I knew that in reading it, I'd be thinking of my own son through the whole book and wouldn't be able to make it through. Shortly there after, I saw David Sheff & his son on the TODAY show ~ I had a face to put with that boy in the book. Next time I was in Starbucks (the next day!) I picked up the book... it is really good and very educational as well. Educating me on drugs and how they take a person in, addiction, enabling, peer pressure and the endless love of a parent. Very good read. Tonight after I read a few chapters I sat beside my son and shared with him that if I ever find him even smoking cigarettes I would take him far off into the hills and beat him...that cigarettes are just a stepping stone to other things and I wasn't going to tolerate even that. He smiled and told me "yeah like I'd even think about it"...maybe not today... But he might entertain the idea under pressure, I want him to know I will have a zero tolerance. Tough Love? Maybe...but if it prevents him from going through what this Beautiful Boy went through... I'm going there! It is amazing how much I worry about him. I worry when he stays at friends, I worry when he is in his own bed- I worry about him at school, I worry about him on the ball field. My biggest fear in life is not being able to protect my children- knowing full well that there are things I'm not able to control, but wanting so much to control the things I can. I spend more time in prayer, asking that my children be protected...I trust that they are.

Still thinking about my friend, I have concluded that you can't make someone want you in their lives no matter how much you would like them in yours....sometimes life lessons simply aren't any fun!

Retail Therapy

I'm not sure how to define the day, consumed I suppose. Still thinking about my friend...although, he did say today was better... unsure how to define better but hopeful that it is much better than I am concluding. After hearing he was better, I got a call from my mother..my mother is not nice..and in the conversation she got in a few of her typical jabs...leaving me feeling like a good scream =O Already feeling uncertain about things going on & having dealt with her my entire life, I knew I needed to do something more constructive.....

So, after work, the mop top & I went for retail therapy! She was in need of a few new things for spring and I was looking for a great something to wear to a party next weekend...Amy turns FOUR OH... Amy, being my OLDER cousin =P. Back to the retail therapy... SO, I found nothing for me...and really did expect that I would~ BUT the mop top did score a few fun spring things...and was excited to model them as soon as we were through the front door! I captured her in her new attire ~ she wanted to take a few photos too, and captured me. She loves the camera!

The big smile in my day came when I was getting the mop top ready for bed, she was running off and turned around and came back to me. Very serious, she reached out to hug me & with such a sweet voice said to me "Thank you mom for taking me shopping at JC Penny today, I love my cute cute outfits" BIGGGG HUG.....awwww these are the moments that make me think what ever is bugging me is really not as big as I allow it to be. I'll head to bed smiling that I'm loved as much as I am by the sweetest little princess, and thankful I have a friend who is doing better. I'll hope & pray that his day is good, no... GREAT tomorrow and that my day is as well. Because it will only be as great as I allow it to be =D oh if it were only that easy.. Optimistically POSSIBLE though